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#557 | Rank: +(2)- | Report
<X_Stickman> I live with my mom, right? Because I'm unemployed as hell. And she's got a new boyfriend, whose uniform is one of those orange suits with high vis reflective stripes down it
<X_Stickman> But she hangs it up to dry in the hallway
<X_Stickman> So like you go for a piss at 3am
<X_Stickman> And there's this glowing outline of a man
<X_Stickman> In the hallway
<X_Stickman> And it makes me jump *every time*

#556 | Rank: +(-1)- | Report
<xen-Arc`> this is like the christen irc ns channel?
<+Tesseract> xen-Arc: nah it's #naturalselection not #intelligentdesign

#555 | Rank: +(-1)- | Report
<Helios> I don't even know what a prime number is
<Scythe-> it's easy, helios
<Scythe-> 7 is prime
<Scythe-> because that's the number of letters in "optimus"
<Novocaine^> MIND BLOWN

#554 | Rank: +(3)- | Report
<@Tekdude> Tesseract, have you ever pulled jeans inside out?
<+Tesseract> frequently
<+Tesseract> it's the best way to wash them
<@Tekdude> I know, but...
<@Tekdude> Ever notice how when you reach down the legt, grab it, and pull the pale side out...
<@Tekdude> It kind of looks like the Challenger explosion?
* +Tesseract pulls a face that implies he doesn't think that
* spellman|KF bashes Tekdude's head in like the Challender explosion

#553 | Rank: +(2)- | Report
<MobileTek> Oh ****, they're speaking Russian
<brik|hmm> how is that better?
<thaldyuk> OH **** THEYRE SPEAKING RUSSIAN
<Lonyo-> SPIES EVERYWHERE
<Helios> You couldn't tell Russian from German
<thaldyuk> OH ****
<Lonyo-> THEY'RE GOING TO KILL HIM
<thaldyuk> MY PANTS
<Helios> DAY SPEEKING BALTICS
<thaldyuk> KILL THE GOVERNMENT WORKER
<thaldyuk> RAPE HIM
<thaldyuk> (it'll be his first)
<MobileTek> I had like 6 years of German.
<MobileTek> And a few weeks of Russian.
<MobileTek> Oh wai...
<MobileTek> It is Gwrma
<MobileTek> German
<Helios> HAHAH
<Lonyo-> hahahaha
<Helios> Oh god I hate you

#552 | Rank: +(1)- | Report
--> Redford (~Redford@redford.user.gamesurge.net) has joined #japanese
-*- KFDM mittens Redford
-*- iFire kittens Mittenford
<-- Redford (~Redford@redford.user.gamesurge.net) has quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<KFDM> iFire: now look what you did
<iFire> KFDM, oh no we have over-mittened Redford!
<Rath> MITTENIZATION OVER-CAPACITY
<Rath> GOING CRITICAL!

#551 | Rank: +(2)- | Report
<Comprox> Man, the refund policy on your body sucks. They want your life and everything with it
<Comprox> It's like God is a manager at Best Buy
<Langly-> Comprox tried to exhange his body for a female model, the request was denied
<iFire> Dressrox?
-*- iFire flees
<Comprox> D:

#550 | Rank: +(2)- | Report
<iFire> Benn is a lie Retales. He brainwashed you!
* draco braindirties Retales
<Retales> wow, a sudden avalanche of dirty thoughts ō_ō!
* Retales blushes
* Retales takes a quick peek at draco, but quickly turns away to avert his gaze
<draco> o_O
<iFire> Retales is smitten with draco D:
* Lev grabs a bag of popcorn and takes a seat
<Lev> this should be fun

#549 | Rank: +(1)- | Report
<thaldarin> I'd want to be a girl.
<thaldarin> Who the heck wouldn't?
<thaldarin> Just for a day mind you
<thaldarin> Although I'd probably get a day during the period knowing my luck
<thaldarin> So there'd be no change in my mood what so ever
<thaldarin> That'd suck

#548 | Rank: +(0)- | Report
<+Align> i think ill go outside and enjoy the weather
<@lolfighter> Goddamn you.
<@lolfighter> You're swedish. You're not allowed to have nicer weather than us. >:|
* @lolfighter shakes fist
<+Align> 24 degrees now
<@lolfighter> Oh **** you.
<@lolfighter> Go. **** off. Enjoy your... your cancer-inducing sunrays.
<@lolfighter> I LIKE grey skies!
<@lolfighter> Yeah.
<@lolfighter> And 15 degrees. And rain.
<@lolfighter> I LIKE it this way. You can keep your fireball in the sky.
<+Align> maybe i can watch some bikini girls getting a tan
<@lolfighter> I hate you so much.

#547 | Rank: +(1)- | Report
< zaggynl> how did the [sc2] practice go with samase?
< Lonyo-> :<
< Samase> :)

#546 | Rank: +(-1)- | Report
<Fewlio> Man, my earbuds are depressing now. :( The bass driver broke.
<Redford> :(
<Fewlio> $110 Redford
<Redford> Sad earbuds are SADDDDDD!
<Draco> :( sad Redford makes Draco sad.
<Redford> Yes, because you have like 27 miniature redfords which are also sad.
<Draco> yes... 27 ...
-*- Draco clears his throat and then walks off
<Redford> Draco, why do you collect tiny pieces of me and then put them in dresses?
<Draco> You can't know for sure what you saw, Redford!

#545 | Rank: +(1)- | Report
<ZeroByte> feck it is really warm
<ZeroByte> **** YOU GLOBAL WARMING
<lolfighter> I think you have "global" confused with "local."
<lolfighter> It's an easy mistake to make when you're that fat.

#544 | Rank: +(2)- | Report
<U235> i should join OSI
<draco> uh
<thaldarin> OSI?
<U235> not only because that's an awesome acronym
<U235> office of special investigations
<U235> my official title would be 'special agent'
<draco> your official title would be '"special" agent'

#543 | Rank: +(1)- | Report
<thansal> urge to mock Redford rising...
<+NeonWraith> I've got the TM for that

#542 | Rank: +(2)- | Report
<Helios> ..is this where we get to see your junk:?
<Scythe-> 8====D
<draco> lame
<Scythe-> (artist's impression)
<Helios> to scale
<Helios> OH
<Helios> OOOOH
<Scythe-> OH NO MY SELF ESTEEEEEEMMMMM
<Helios> INTERNET MAN STRIKES BACK

#541 | Rank: +(-3)- | Report
* dracodraco follows zaggy
* FLuX hops on draco
<FLuX> Adventure!
<dracodraco> No!
<dracodraco> You go away D:<
<FLuX> No! D:
* FLuX clings tighter to your back
<dracodraco> I said you go away from me!
<FLuX> Adventure! >:|

#540 | Rank: +(2)- | Report
<Redford> Scythe, your insults started to repeat themselves a very long time ago.
<Redford> It's getting dull.
<Scythe|RFG> I will add another insult to my list
<Scythe|RFG> Um
<Scythe|RFG> Redford!
<draco> :D
<Scythe|RFG> You... enjoy the sensation of
<Scythe|RFG> being
<Scythe|RFG> dumb
<Scythe|RFG> haha!
<draco> :(
<Scythe|RFG> o/
<Uzguz> 2/10
<Scythe|RFG> :(

#539 | Rank: +(0)- | Report
* U235 sets mode -scythe
*** Scythe- (~hahaha@Scythe-.engineer.gamesurge) left ()
<U235> i wonder if that'll work for zaggy too
* U235 sets mode -dbags
* U235 sets mode +scythe
*** Scythe- (~hahaha@Scythe-.engineer.gamesurge) joined
<U235> oh wait
*** ChanServ sets channel #naturalselection mode +v Scythe-
<+Scythe-> what the hell just happened?

#538 | Rank: +(3)- | Report
<Zergrush> what the **** causes blueballs?!
<Helios> Women
<StoneToad> I feel like I entereed a space warp
<StoneToad> #ns is supposed to have more innuendo
<StoneToad> and less outright questionable comments
* StoneToad checks DruBo|sney's oven
<Zergrush> but how? it doesn't make any sense
<Zergrush> when you have blueballs, there's no way to be subtle
<StoneToad> sure there is
<StoneToad> and frankly... why are you telling us about it?
<Zergrush> because you're the internet?
<StoneToad> thought I guess it's not as bad as the time we got TMI about one of the chisk in here's period
<StoneToad> I'm not the internet
<Helios> Yes you are
<StoneToad> as much as I would like to be
<StoneToad> no, I'm only aprt of the internet
<StoneToad> we have to do our super combining move to become the internet
<DruBo|sney> gentlemen please refrain from discussion of azure testicles
<Zergrush> my rocks feel like they're 10 pounds
<StoneToad> see, you're starting to get the hang of it
<Zero7> whoa
<Zero7> wait
<Zero7> oven checking seems REALLY familiar
<StoneToad> hahahahaha
<Zero7> like... 6 years ago
<StoneToad> yea
<StoneToad> XD
<DruBo|sney> zero7 is remembering sentrysteve's porno thing
<Zero7> christ, i feel old now
<StoneToad> one of the ops tried to ban innuendo
<Zero7> yeah
<Zero7> i remember that
<Zero7> and i'm beginning to question why I did certain things 6 years ago
<Zero7> like.. why the hell did I ever prioritize fps over prettiness?
<Helios> Mad skillz?
<StoneToad> because it works better for fragging in MP
<Zergrush> goddamn, I love the internet. blueballs has it's own wikipedia page
<Zero7> yeah.. but the thing is.. I never even TRIED to push my old set up
<Zero7> just went straight for the: "REDUCE ALL SETTINGS!"
<Zero7> i feel silly now
* Zero7 checks StoneToad's oven
<StoneToad> ohh yea, it's nice and hot
<Zero7> preheated and ready for me to put my loaf in, huh?
* Helios puts a turkey in StoneToad's oven
* Zero7 stuffs Helios' turkey
* Helios colapses, baster in his hand
<StoneToad> ^_^
<StoneToad> roflmao
<Zero7> XD
* Zero7 covers the turkey with the sauce from Helios' baster
* Helios moans with ecstacy as he licks the turkeys drumstick
* Zero7 caresses the turkey breast as he carves it
<Zero7> slow cooked and tender, oooohhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhh </barry white voice>
* Helios tosses Zero7's preprepared salad, being careful with the nuts
* Zynderps (~****gotry@assnugget.goatse.gamesurge) has joined #naturalselection
<Helios> Last thing you want is bruised nuts... In your salad
* Zyndrome (~****gotry@assnugget.goatse.gamesurge) Quit (Read error: Operation timed out)
* Zynderps is now known as Zyndrome
<StoneToad> so you do you put the dressing on now, or after you take it to the table?
* Helios is now confused
* Helios unfs StoneToad and Zergrush
<Helios> Whoops
* [G4B2S]Jocko (~tpissios@c-71-194-232-72.hsd1.il.comcast.net) Quit (Quit)
<Helios> Tab complete.
<StoneToad> lol
* Zero7 cries
<Helios> Suprise sex for Zerg! lol
<StoneToad> that was horrible Helios
<Zero7> ;-;
<StoneToad> you ruined it T_T
* Helios also unfs Zero7
<Helios> I ruined your salad
<Helios> Oooh
<Zergrush> keke
* Knights-Perrier is now known as Knights-ZZZzzz
<Zero7> ... that was my first time..
<Zero7> ... with a man...
<Zero7> cooking, i mean
<Zero7> ...
<Zero7> ._.
<StoneToad> lol
<Helios> hahahah
<Cidsa> lol

#537 | Rank: +(3)- | Report
<Zero7> my high school experience was like a romantic comedy slice of life harem anime

#536 | Rank: +(7)- | Report
<Plasmatica> yea it is
<Plasmatica> but it's also valentines day
<Plasmatica> =/
<Swift> this is where my $85 flowers-from-website purchase comes in to play.
<Plasmatica> lol
<Plasmatica> i spent 50$
<Plasmatica> and then 50$ on chocolate
<Plasmatica> then probably 70$ at dinner
<Plasmatica> or even 100$
<Plasmatica> >.<
<Helios> I spent $2 on tissues

#535 | Rank: +(9)- | Report
< RaydenUni> none of you play LoL do you?
< Helios> LOL
<+Compy> oLo

#533 | Rank: +(-1)- | Report
<Scythe-> best thing ever: going to the cupboard and deciding what to have for dinner
<Scythe-> but then finding that you've run out
<Scythe-> and then finding another jar shortly thereafter
<Tesseract> worst thing ever: cupboard contains rat eating your food
<zaggynl> I see your worst thing and raise you: no cupboard
<Scythe-> I'll see that
<Scythe-> and raise you:
<Scythe-> Tesseract
<draco> i fold
* zaggynl folds

#532 | Rank: +(7)- | Report
<thaldarin> Events to mark The Queen's 60 years on the throne will take place in the first weekend of June 2012, with an extra bank holiday being created.
<thaldarin> Would be a real kick in the nuts if she died before then, no free holiday.
<Helios> LOL
<briktal> dear the queen don't die until we get the extra bank holiday thanks

#531 | Rank: +(7)- | Report
<+Fam-> Yes but I always read the opposite of what you write norn.
<Supernorn_> don't kill yourself

#530 | Rank: +(12)- | Report
<Scythe-> how do you communicate with a submarine?
<Scythe-> it's underwater
<Tekdude> ELF
<Scythe-> elves aren't real Tekdude
<Tekdude> Extremely Low Frequency.
<Scythe-> I don't want to know about your sex life

#529 | Rank: +(-3)- | Report
<@Necro^SleepHat> prepares
<@KFDM> You're already doomed
-!- Zero7
[~daguy@CPE001cf0b92b26-CM00195ee39118.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com] has
quit [Read error: Connection reset by peer]
-!- Zero7
[~daguy@CPE001cf0b92b26-CM00195ee39118.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com] has
joined #japanese
-!- mode/#japanese [+v Zero7] by ChanServ
<+Zero7> that was some amazing timing
<+Zero7> KFDM said you're already doomed and I disconnect
<+Zero7> AIM YOUR DOOM PROPERLY

#528 | Rank: +(11)- | Report
<@StoneToad> where is rahtos when you need him?
* @StoneToad sharpens a stick
<@StoneToad> i r prepped now
*** Rath (~Rath@pell-05-0432.dsl.iowatelecom.net) joined
* @StoneToad stabs Rath with the sharp stick
<+Rath> ouch!

#527 | Rank: +(-10)- | Report
<zaggynl> unts unts unts
<Graloth> any of you play borderlands?
<zaggynl> I'm dancing I'm dancing!

#526 | Rank: +(10)- | Report
<DOOManiac> Okay this sucks, I'm gonna try the new mIRC
<DOOManiac> Oh WTF when I close the window it doesn't even leave the chat either
* Parts: DOOManiac (I'm a happy Miranda IM user! Get it here: http://miranda-im.org)
<Monkfish> he doesn't look that happy...

#525 | Rank: +(4)- | Report
<+Scythe-> http://www.tjhowse.com/dnd/
<+Scythe-> what do your IRC eyes see?
<+lolfighter> A URL.
* Scythe- backhands lolfighter
* lolfighter goes flying and crashes into Scythe's wargaming table
<+lolfighter> I think I broke Calgar's ultrafists or something.
<+Scythe-> i'll give you ultrafists
<+lolfighter> With bolters attached?
* Scythe- punches off lolfighter's nose
<+lolfighter> That's not a good smell.

#524 | Rank: +(4)- | Report
* lolfighter glues horns to KFDM's head
<lolfighter> Pretty. ^_^
* Necro^PizzaHat paints KFDM's horns purple
* starclaws adds glitter
<KFDM> >_<

#523 | Rank: +(4)- | Report
<starclaws> We shall fight in the biodomes! in the refineries! in the nonames! and in the spawn queue! We shall never surrender!

#522 | Rank: +(1)- | Report
<dracousa> hey briktal, youre a lot like peter griffin
<dracousa> always making references and youre really fat

#521 | Rank: +(6)- | Report
<@KFDM> I should start doing that
<@KFDM> Every time Necro says something, I'll take a picture with a knife
<@KFDM> and I'll make sure that irc is in the background

#517 | Rank: +(15)- | Report
<Quaunaut> I find it hilarious how the more someone uses the Mac, the more their PC breaks.

#516 | Rank: +(1)- | Report
<+Tesseract> every day is suffering to me
<+Tesseract> I am a darkened rose
<Vinegar_Ninja> oh god
<Vinegar_Ninja> dont go emo on us
<ZeroByte> would you like twilight books to go with that?

#515 | Rank: +(1)- | Report
<briktal> what

#509 | Rank: +(8)- | Report
[19:56] <TekMobile> Wow that sucked.
[19:56] <TekMobile> So, I never found the theater.
[19:56] <TekMobile> But, I did buy a pullup bar.
[19:57] <TekMobile> The guy at the store didn't give me a bag, so I'm now riding the train with an IRON GYM.
...
[20:59] <Tekdude> I've been wanting one of these for years...
[20:59] <Tekdude> YEARS
[20:59] <thaldarin> Tekdude, boyfriend?
[21:00] <Tekdude> No, an IRON GYM.
...
[21:11] <Tekdude> YES!!!
[21:11] <Tekdude> I Just did 10 pullups on my new IRON GYM!
...
[21:12] <Tekdude> The best thing about the IRON GYM is that I can't brick it!
[21:12] <Tekdude> Like I did with my router...
...
[21:23] <Tekdude> Oh man, I can already tell this IRON GYM is going to make me "strong" and "ripped", "quick".
...
[21:56] <Tekdude> thaldarin, go buy an IRON GYM, it's definitely worth it.
[21:56] <thaldarin> url
[21:57] <thaldarin> i keep trying to do weights but dont atm because off my back
[21:57] <iron> I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHER****ING IRON GYMS ON MY MOTHER****ING HIGHLIGHT
[21:57] * iron has left the channel

#506 | Rank: +(12)- | Report
<Sir-Smoke-A-Lot> lol
<Sir-Smoke-A-Lot> I've never seen a prostitute in person.
<Sir-Smoke-A-Lot> Protosstitute.
<briktal> poor kid, never met his mom
<Sir-Smoke-A-Lot> She does work on the corner of Central.

#504 | Rank: +(0)- | Report
<@KFDM> I'm tempted to alias /facepalm to /kick Necro
<@Tesseract> heh
<@Necro> :<

#503 | Rank: +(5)- | Report
<Langly-> hhow have there been no named atlantic tropical storms yet
<draCo> hm
<draCo> you make a good point
<Scythe-> brb causing tropical storm
* Joins: WW (~wouter_wo@client107-27.hint.rug.nl)
<WW> Awesome.
<WW> The very first moment of my vacation it starts to rain.

#502 | Rank: +(5)- | Report
<Scythe-> what the hell
<Scythe-> "Less than two one-hundreths of a second"
<Scythe-> "There's really nothing else you can compare that to"
<U235> Human reaction time I guess
<U235> I mean, what else do you know of that's 0.02 seconds in duration that's common knowledge
<Benn> average sex session for U235
<U235> (Besides Scythe's perf- god dammit)
<Tesseract> dohoho
<Scythe-> OH
<Scythe-> SNAP
<U235> Beaten to the punch

#501 | Rank: +(10)- | Report
<DOOManiac> Within 24 hours I went from owning a PC and a first gen iPhone - to a PC, 2 iPhones, and a MacBook. I'm 3/4 Apple now :O
<DOOManiac> I'm already starting to... think... different.......

#500 | Rank: +(-1)- | Report
*** ari2 (~ari@Ari.user.gamesurge) joined
*** ChanServ sets channel #naturalselection mode +o ari2
<@ari2> !rules
<Necro> nooo
<Necro> 1 ari is enoug
<@ari2> O.o
*** ari2 changed nick to bleh
<@Redford> They are multiplaying!
<@bleh> !rules
<@Redford> Err, multiplying
<+Cidsa> ari is a tribble
<Necro> haha
*** bleh changed nick to tribble
<Necro> i was thinking of saying that
<Necro> but thought most ppl wouldnt get it
* @tribble chomps on Cidsa's head.
*** tribble quit (Quit: wtf, no duplication here)

#499 | Rank: +(11)- | Report
<@Redford> Confession: I like girls drawn so they have one fang on the side of their mouth.
<@KFDM> ;p
<@Redford> IT'S JUST SO CUTE AND I CAN'T EXPLAIN WHY
* Rath draws a fang on one side of Redford's mouth
* KFDM draws cat ears
<@Redford> Aargh, stop it!
<+Rath> whut?
<@Redford> I am not a fanglolicatboi.

#498 | Rank: +(-1)- | Report
<Scythe-> i'll blog your social network
<Scythe-> you web2.0 hippy
<lolfighter> Web 2.0 hippy?! Them's fightin' words!
<lolfighter> Somebody explain to me difference between Twitter and "not using more than 140 characters on Livejournal."
<Scythe-> twitter is in
<Scythe-> it's hip
<Scythe-> it's happenin'
<lolfighter> No it's not.
<Scythe-> it's rockin' and rollin'
<Scythe-> it's down
<lolfighter> Stop that.
<Scythe-> it's shakin'
<lolfighter> Please start dying now.
<Scythe-> it's "with it"
<Scythe-> it's where the cool kids are
<lolfighter> I hate you so much.
<Scythe-> it's a totally worthless sack of epollution that will thankfully disappear from the internet in a few scant years
<lolfighter> Better.

#497 | Rank: +(2)- | Report
(WAR|Whornado) When do you guys think the ALPHA Stage will be released for NS2?
(+Tesseract|UFF) MonsE when will Windows get wobbly windows? :(
(@Comprox) Monse, had to do some hunting to find something that worked
(thaldarin) WAR|Whornado when it's released. GG.
(WAR|Whornado) funny.
(briktal) wow thaldarin
(+Tesseract|UFF) Those Compiz bastards are making me sad
(devicenull) WAR|Whornado, during a full moon
(+Tesseract|UFF) during two full moons
(+lolfighter) Monkfish!
(+Tesseract|UFF) and a quarter sun
(+lolfighter) You are now ****ed in Narnia!
(thaldarin) wtf
(WAR|Whornado) nothing but no life homos in here, later
(@Comprox) Even now, this is not perfect. You think windows would at least allow it to display stuff on each taskbar for each monitor :P
• WAR|Whornado (~czr@bas3-barrie18-1176226977.dsl.bell.ca) has left #naturalselection ()

#496 | Rank: +(5)- | Report
<ZeroByte> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I.e.#id_est
<ZeroByte> "that is to say"
<ZeroByte> for example is e.g.
<Sir-Smoke-A-Lot-pk-> I'd Estimate.
<Sir-Smoke-A-Lot-pk-> K.
<Scythe|bed> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IE
<Scythe|bed> id est
<ZeroByte> I WIN OVER SCYTHE
<ZeroByte> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E.g.#exempli_gratia
<ZeroByte> and then I smack down scythe with this!
<Scythe|bed> the smack is almost palpable
<ZeroByte> (forgive me, I need my little victories :p)
<Scythe|bed> and also the downs
<ZeroByte> my grammer nazism is so strong that I am beginning to erect concentration camps
<ZeroByte> dare I take this analogy further?
<Scythe|bed> no, since you just misspelt grammar
<Sir-Smoke-A-Lot-pk-> rofl!
<ZeroByte> ****!
<zaggynl> ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZINGER
<ZeroByte> can i plead irony?
<Sir-Smoke-A-Lot-pk-> Almost. :P
<Scythe|bed> take it up with the UN, Führer
<zaggynl> Was? Fick die UN!
<ZeroByte> man, stop emasculating the UN!



368 Quotes Approved, 1 Pending Approval